


Two Things

by petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram



Series: Holding Hands and Jumping Cliffs [1]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, it's leslie and ben, it's the goodbye i believe they deserve, this angst is meaningful and sincere i promise with my whole heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram/pseuds/petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram
Summary: Just another one of the cliffs into the unknown Leslie and Ben are jumping off of together.
Relationships: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Series: Holding Hands and Jumping Cliffs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886674
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	Two Things

**Author's Note:**

> this was beta'd by thenarcissisticnihilist.... this fic wouldn't be what it is w/o her, endless thanks n gratitude <333333333

They’d accepted it eventually, not like they had the choice to do anything but.

And by ‘accepted’, it mostly means Leslie’s stopped shouting at various doctors, synagogues, spiritual guides, shamans, and Ken Hotate; pleading there must be something they could do, only to scrunch her face, and grit her teeth each and every time all of them inevitably said there wasn’t.

But after all the fighting, shouting, and crying (there was, frankly, an intense amount of crying; but justifiable, in Leslie’s heartbroken opinion….  _ It’s  _ **_Ben_ ** ), there was resolute resigned acceptance. Once again, it’s not like they had the choice to do anything but.

It was then that all the energy Leslie had directed towards finding ways to save Ben, were at once swiftly reallocated towards doing every single possible thing she wanted to do with him while he was still here.

It was- astounding, really, and incredible; the sheer number of activities they were able to achieve in the time Ben still had left.

But, eventually, once the Leslie Knope signature plucky Can Do drive and excitement had worn off, once all the press had left, once the crowds, friends, and family, who were there to witness the old President and First Gentleman achieve this amazing awe-inspiring goal all went home, so did Leslie and Ben.

At the end of the day, the end of it all, they went home together and would go to sleep in their shared bed. These would be the last moments Leslie would have with Ben, and she’d cement them in her steel-trap-of-special-memories for the rest of her life.

“I still think we could have actually gone to space for the Star Wars section of our trip,” Leslie mumbles from the bathroom, toothbrush still in mouth.

“Honey, give it a rest. It is literally impossible, for anyone our age to be fit for space travel,” Ben replies from bed, “Let alone, me.”

Leslie’s determined countenance almost breaks with that last comment, showing a hint of the desolation simmering underneath. The truth she didn’t dare acknowledge was that their trip had been cut short by Ben feeling that all too familiar looming pinching in his chest.

But she bounces back quick enough that Ben doesn’t notice and retorts, “If I can’t use my power as an ex-president to get NASA to arrange a Star Wars trip for us to actual space, I’m starting to doubt if I still have any juice left after I stepped down from the White House.”

Ben chuckles as Leslie finally lies down next to him, kissing her on the side of her forehead as she does, “Of course you still have juice, honey. You’re Leslie Knope, you’re still basically the energizer bunny of the entirety of America. President or not.”

Leslie chuckles and cuddles deeper into Ben in appreciation, muttering, “Thank you.”

And with that, they let a warm comforting silence envelop them. Leslie and Ben didn't know how they knew exactly what was about to happen, but it was just like a gut feeling came over them, knowing this was it. Ben was on his very last airs now.

Of course, Ben had already said all of his tearful goodbyes and last words to his kids, his grandkids, his siblings, Chris, and all the rest of his cherished friends and family. That had been a vital point of their whole ‘One Last Hurrah’ trip in the first place. And now, these final quiet moments with the woman he ridiculously, deeply, loved were all that remained.

Even after the first time Ben started feeling dizzy, sweaty, clutching at that impossible tightness in his chest, and Leslie felt as if the world was crumbling all around her along with him.

Even after all the times Leslie would feel herself going into a frenzied panic, every time Ben would so much as just be out of breath.

Even after all the paralyzing guilt (unwarranted, in Ben’s opinion but Leslie can’t help but still feel because the unwavering almost all sugar diet she’s had for so many years and no doubt roped Ben into, what she fears tragically too many times), the overpowering fear and paranoia, the deeply passionate impetus of wanting to do everything she wanted to do with Ben battling with the inexorable caution of not wanting to risk his health for it.

Even after the very first moment they'd been told of the disease and that there was absolutely nothing they could do to cure it, only treat, delay the inevitable.

Leslie had never been more petrified in her entire life than this very moment, despite the relative calm and serene state Ben was in now.

Leslie clings to the love of her life so tight, she doesn't even care if it hurts. And the dam breaks. Leslie's unbearable wails are only muffled by virtue of the fact that she's shedding them onto Ben's chest.

Ben could do nothing, but merely be there for her, silently cry along with her, gently caressing the back he's caressed for a lifetime, and make the most of the little precious moments he has left now.

Ben breaks the chilling silence that loomed over the room, apart from Leslie’s soft whimpers.

“Leslie, once again,  _ please _ , don't work yourself too hard when I'm gone. I know you still have a lot of things you want to do, but don't put yourself out for too long. Take care of yourself and let other people take care of you. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me, for all the people who love you. And until you're ready, just know that I'll be here, patiently waiting and rooting for you."

Leslie has been tightly wrapped around Ben for a while now as they lay together on their bed, quietly dreading, what was to come.

‘I'd wait forever for you but part of me will still always hope to see you sooner rather than later…’ Ben thinks to himself.

Leslie's struggling to breathe as the tears stream non-stop down on her face, "I still think you should just buck up, fight this thing, and stay here with me forever."

Ben chuckles, "I'm afraid that even after decades of being with you, I still haven't learned how to keep working through sickness using sheer willpower." "

"Yeah, you're right. It's unfair to hold you up to my own standards for workplace determination and fierceness," Leslie feels Ben's breathless laugh against the side of her face, "It still doesn't mean I won't miss the crap out of you... and this-"

"-butt."

"Butt."

"Yeah, I know, my dear. I know..." Ben slowly gently brushing his hand down Leslie’s back.

"But you know, even when I'm,” Ben pauses and Leslie lifts her head to look at him and face those heartbreakingly beautiful brown eyes, “-not here... anymore. Two things have always been, and will always remain the same."

Leslie lowers her head back, not wanting to separate even just an inch of herself away from his warmth for too long, and grins against Ben's chest, knowing.

"I love you and I like you."

And just like that, Leslie starts crying all over again.

She lets those tears fall straight into her husband's shirt and does everything to memorize the scent, the warmth, the presence that has been by her side for more than half her life.

All these years and a part of her hoped she would have gotten sick of the guy at some point, make it easier for her to let him go.

But now, at the end of it all, she realizes none of it, the decades, the lifetime they've shared together, it still isn’t, and would probably never be enough. Never.

She even mumbles a few things about how this just wasn't fair, despite knowing full well the insignificance of her sentiments. And yet, it was still all she could do.

Leslie squeeze-hugs Ben one more time, after the millions of times she's done the exact same thing. And she smiles up at him one more time, since she still had to say it, because it was true, even if it shattered her heart.

"I love you and I like you."

Ben leans down for a kiss, placing one hand on his wife's cheek, the other already placed on the small of her back, squeezing as he leans down for the kiss which his wife eagerly returns.

Good lord. Ben's dread over missing Leslie has probably never been more unrelenting than now at this very moment.

But, Ben holds on. He keeps that petrifying dread at bay and wills himself to stay in this moment.

And right now, as Leslie's crying into his face as they try to make out, he's gonna do every goddamn thing he can to get all the Leslie Knope in this world while he still can.

They kiss, touch, caress, feel each other as fiercely as their bodies can allow, hands going everywhere as they mumble words of praises, whispering how the life they've built together after so many hard-won fights and so many sacrifices, has meant the world to the both of them.

And once they both fall asleep, a new day begins... Leslie wakes up alone in their bed.

She closes her eyes shut just as soon as she opened them, still keeping her hold on Ben, still lying her head on his chest.

And Leslie knows she's probably going to have let him go at some point, but right now, she still wants to keep him in her arms.

She wants to remember  _ every single thing _ about their last moments together on earth, and she runs through her head over and over the last words both of them ever said to each other: I love you and I like you.

And she wonders if she’s ever going to get to say them to him ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiiii parks fandom hahahhaha hi i'm new!!! hahaha. i actually watched parks on 2015 so i'm not ~completely~ new hahaha. i just got rlly into it rn.
> 
> tbh this fic originally came to be i think bc at first, it was that i'd came up with an idea of how leslie gets into the good place. and then, when that inevitably had me thinking about their consequent deaths, i'd focused on the single-minded goal of achieving a fic where leslie and ben's last words to each other on earth... would be none other than: i love you and i like you.
> 
> i genuinely hope the sincerity of their love that i tried to capture in this fic shined thru and that yalls enjoyed it. please and thank you~~~~ 💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨✨✨✨✨


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